while i was sitting on the train today, and i looked over to see this couple sitting together...

and it made me think... if only u were there... it's hard to say wat it felt like, the sweetness of the fact that i know your my boyfriend, and then the bitterness of you never been here.

while i can sit here and tell u how much i miss you, u never seem so do anything... it makes me think... am i been too needy... or is it natural to miss you...

these past few days... so much has gone on.... and i still can't seem to open my mouth and say// i need you to be here... because i need you... todays probly the first time that i've wanted to say to you... 'do u know i'm here?'

sometimes it feels as though i'm not here, and sometimes i just want to slip away...

somtimes it's easy... i just do wat i do, be happy, and then when the affect wears off, i sit on my bed thinking wat u did, and that if u were thinking of me.... and for some reason in my head the answer would always be 'no'

i want to openly say. I WANT U TO COME OUT! but i also know that if i do, it'll bring you soo much trouble....

i want to talk 2 u,.... but i can't//// i want to see you..... but i can't////i promised myslef that i would never cry for someone like how i cried for joachim.... but for some reason, it's hard.

for those who know me,,, i never cry.... NEVER... but in the past few weeks i've cried more for you then the whole of my life.... it;s hard... and i don't know what to do....