i txted, i was, i would call, but i think i should leave it where it is at the moment.
i smile, wholeheartedly 2day, the first time in a long time, it flet good, talking to you like we used to. i hope we can do it again, sometime, i don't know i your reading my blog, infact i don't know if u even know i have a blog, but if u are, thank you

哇。今天一起来就发现我眼睛变得像泡泡一样，好肿。你知道吗，我不想哭了，我想走出这个心痛，可是却走不出。
已经六个月了，可是还是那么的心痛，孤独。
我不想哭了，我不喜欢这样的我，我不喜欢依赖你的我。
这几天天气很冷，不晓得为什么会一直想和你说‘小心，要多穿衣服，不要在雨里走回家，路上湿的，不要滑倒，要记得多喝热水。’可是这些是我多心了吧，你现在不在是我生命中的人物了，不再是我脑海中的你了。
想说的，没有办法说，没有办法发告诉你，因为我不想再哭了。

我会加油的，走出这个恋爱陷阱。

范茸，你哭了已经有六个月了，不要再哭了，因为你哭没用的。不要哭了，我求求你了，不要哭了，因为我哭不动了。

这几天在想，为什么会那么痛。

其实，我有一点点开心，因为，我知道痛了，就说明我有真正的爱上你。可你呢？为什么，不管都么多的肯定，我会那么的混乱。

想知道你在想什么，想知道你在做什么。

今天，有个同学和我说了一句‘你为什么那么喜欢笑’。回答的是‘因为我开心啊’可是我知道那不是答案。想说的，从来没有离开过我的嘴，想说的是‘家里哭得太多，到学校因该笑一笑了’。 笑，是因为想笑，因为想离开我不快乐的一面，因为想离开我不快乐的世界。

这几天，我一直在想，你是不是少一根筋？说我礼物送的好。哼，太冷了。一点都不想送你，没有想送过你，也不会送。

小时候想长大，现在想回去。

想念，天真，无能的时代。

因为，Only then were we free

淡淡的、、，你就像风儿飘一样从我脑海里出现了。。。
为什么，我是唯一在痛的人，为什么痛的人是我而不是你。为什么会痛、、、

i don't know how to express the emptiness inside... i mean... i don't...
i don't know what your trying to tell me, or if your trying to tell me anything...
i don't know that if i'm thinking to much, or if i'm foolish enough to think too much...
i don't know what this is what i am ment to be feeling...
i don't know what your thinking...
i don't know what your wanting for me to feel...
i don't know if i'm watching too many dramas to be dramatising all of this, into something i want, into something not real...
i don't know what it is your feeling...
and i don't know if i should keep guessing what it is your feeling...
is it that hard to say a yes and a no...
is it that hard to tell me to wait for you...
is it that hard to tell me what your feeling...
is it that hard to talk to me...
do you hate me so much...
i wish i knew what it is that you feel...
i wish i could end all of my confusion...
i wish i could hear what it is that you want to say
because then, because then i'll have the courage to say what it is that i want to say...

feeling really crap, i don't know why. maybe because somthing's missing. i thought i found that something, i guess i didn't. because it went away.
it's hard to say wat i'm thinking right now, or feeling rather. i don't know whats meant to happen. am i meant to cry, beg, nag? i don't know whats meant to follow on this.
i wish i can say what i want to say, i wish i had the courage i did before to say it. but i guess i regret telling u my feelings, because now, it's hard to even be friends....
i guess i now understand how much pain it is for those prehaps i've this too.....
being friends seem much better then this....
havn't had the best of day today, infact i was counting on today to lift my mood little, but looking happy has made me more teird then usual? i guess because i'm more unhappy then usual...
if your reading this, respond.. cos i want to talk to you, i just don't know when i'll get the courage to do it.......

it hurts... it really does... someone make it stop... because it hurts soo bad... soo bad...
make it stop hurting... because i don't know how anymore... someone tell me... if i'm going crazy... or if i'm just in too much pain...

another day another death. it makes you think, how unpredictable death really is. a person i've know for a large part of my life's dad has died, yesterday. we were all told today. i remeber meting him in grade 5 and he was the most nicest,admirable man i had ever met. and now he's not here anymore.

when i heard the news, it once again brought tiffiany to my mind. how short life really is. on the way home, i thought about calling you, i thought about calling you to tell you how much i cared for you, and how much i missed you. because if something were to happen, and i didn't get to tell you, or if u didn;t get to hear it i would regret it for the rest of my life. like how i regret not telling tiffany how much i cared.

i hope he rests i peace, and i know that his family, will be strong in the face of death, because the person that i know is strong. RIP eric

have u ever realised what them been here has done to me? have u ever cared about the fact that u care shit about me, and that ever since grade 3 i've been the one who's looked after my slef. u never f**ken cared!

well guess what. all i f**ken said was for u to ask them to bloody wash early and u crakced it at me. WELL F OFF! im not the one that takes 30 FUCKEN MINTUES to WASH THEIR FUCKEN FEET I DON"T WAKE UP IN THE MORING AND OPEN THE WINDOW ON A COLD WINTER MORNING SO THAT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE FUCKEN HOUSE FREEZES TO DEATH I"M NOT THE FUCKEN ONE WHO NEVER CLOSES THE DOOR WHEN I GO THROUGH THEM I"M NOT THE FUCKEN ONE THAT TAKES UP ALL THE SEATES IN THE CAR SO WE CAN"T FUCKEN GO ANYWHERE! I"M NOT THE FUCKEN ONE THAT TAKES UP ALL YOUR MONEY AND IS GONNA FUCKEN DIE IN A YEAR OR TWO!!!!

MY FUCKEN GOD! IF U FUCKEN CARE ABOUT ME THEN THROW ME FUCKEN OUT COS I DON"T WANT TO FUCKEN LIVE WITH THEM BECAUSE I NEVER FUCKEN HAD PRIVARCY AND WHAT FUCKEN PRIVACY I FUCKEN HAD IS NOW GONE I MAY AS WELL LIVE IN A FUCKEN GLASS HOUSE!