yesterday was valentines day. i wondered i really did that if we were together whether we would have gotten the chance to celebrate it together. yesterday would have been our two months as well.
i didn't cry yesterday, i cried on friday, when i knew that no one would have noticed then i relised that i still miss you. i really do. though i know i'm not allowed to, but i do. i still have that right don't i?
i'm working hard i really am, i'm trying my best, i really am, i'm trying to smile, i really am.
i remeber saying to myslef 'you know this will get you into trouble, you know your too navie, you know your just too stupid' but it still lead to this.
i remeber picking up my phone at least 100 times, but i didn't have the courage. i know that you might read this, infact i'm wishing you would. because then i would know you care.
theres always apart of me thats sitting there waiting, i just don't know if that part of me wants you to come. if you come what would you say? would you say, stop sitting here, because i don't want you, or would you come and let me hear what i want to hear?
i really miss you....

jess if your reading this, go for it, though sometime's it seems scary, but if you don't try, you'll never know. so go for it, and give yourslef a chance. even though you think the world is against you, you know that u've always got me. it;s better to have love and lost, the to have not loved. understand me when i say, love isn't something to be laughed at, or to be cried over, because love is what you make of it. you laugh because you've seen yourslef grow, you cry because you know the truth. give it a chance and it'll grow, if you don't it'll never grow. jess go for it, because we both you this has been going on for a while.