i've had time to think about things lately, frankly too much time.
while everyone has a goal to reach for, i don't know what i want, i know what i want to do, but also know it'll never happen. so where is the line between realtiy and desire?
i have no idea how i'm going to live my life, i have no idea what i would want to do, i have no idea how to walk this road.
i want to pray to something, but what is there to pray to, god? budda? if we all pray and if all our wishes come tru then life would be a mess.
i don't know how i am ment to react to certain things in my life.
i want to say it, that i want you back, that i hate u, that ur mean, evil, that i miss you. but i know me saying those things will do nothing. jake i know how you feel, but unlike you i havn't found the person that will help me overcome it.
right now, my life seems directionless, hopeless, it feels like a endless void with me walking in a black tunnel, endlessly walking, running occasionally, but running doesn't make a difference, after all it's void.
i want to run away, to a island somewhere, alone, by myslef, and just watch the world pass by.
does it ever feel like ur the spectator in someonelses show, even know u are apart of this little world, it feels like you are only there to watch. to watch other act and play, while u sit and watch and clap.
this feeling of been loney, of been alone, it doesn't feel good, it feels almost as if someone's taken u and place u into the middle of the sea, that feeling of dorwning in your own tears.

anthony's song really got to me 'sorry that i loved you'. that line 'sorry for been the one that taught you how to cry'. are you sorry that u taught me how to cry? in this past year i have cried more for myslef then i have ever in my whole life...
so next year, i wanna laugh more, smile more, i want to change