'and time and time again, i want to say'

wanting to say something, wanting to say something, saying it, and then been ignored....

it hurts....

i've been wondering about a lot of things lately, whether i will be able to get what i want, and from history... that answer would always be zero...

i believe that in life we get what is meant to be ours, and if it's not meant to be then it'll never be yours.... and what if i say that i want to be selfish for once... just this once, and get what i want no matter if it belongs to me or not....

while i wonder about these things.... everything else draws my head in..... not been able to know anything, and having everything become much more overwhelming then what it is needed to be....

someone tell me whats soo good about life that makes people laugh, smile... because at the moment theirs nothing in my life that is worth smiling and laughing about....

i'm hating yr 12... i really am...