YAY~

well life has been good to me.

our skool's asian week is coming up and we're selling noodles!!! and dumplings!! and coke.......

yes coke........

anyway on saturday i was able to talk to someone with out been called a man, well for most of it anyway. i guess i never relised how complicated he is, been a simple minded person, i rarely ever think that much into something, but then again maybe i just don't want to. maybe it'll make me think about the bad in people.

he has soo many masks.... so many.... maybe it's just because i'm more slef centered then most people, that i don't see the things they want me to see.

talking to him made me think about when i was alittle, and like that. i remeber in primary school, i was always the nice one, tryning to make eveyone like me? then as i got older i grew tierd of it, and slowly i became me, the annoying, attenion seeking, loud, naive idiot, who's enjoing life.

now when i think about it, i never enjoyed been a child, i always wanted to be older and be able to do things on my own. maybe this was because of the way i grew up, i remeber i started to make my own lunch in grade 3 and by grade 4, i did everything myslef. now when i think back, i never really had a childhood.

i really miss been a navie, stupid child, who was just been a child. and i know i'll never get that chance ever again, that might be my biggest regret of my life. i guess me been who i am i would really want to go back and tell myslef to just enjoy today, and not think about 2morow, becasue 2morow never comes.

no matter how hard i try, i can never forget those times when i've achevied something and my parents never saw it. i remeber last year someone said to me 'didn't u get enough hugs from your daddy?' though that person ment it as a joke, i remeber coming home and crying my eyes out. my dad and mum never cared. no matter how well i got at school or worked, they never looked at me.

i want to go back to those days, and just tell myslef to stop hoping that they would be sitting in the audience, but even now i can't do that, even now when i look out, i just hope their there to say 'good job'.

i've always admired those who've had bright childhoods, because those people always seemed too happy as adults.

maybe i'm too slefish asking so much from them, but is it really alot? i want to go back to when i was onlt in grade 1 and tell myslef, act dumb, be stupid, do stupid things, so at least they know your there.