update

he he havn't updated enough.. well it's the hoildays, and it's making me think maybe year 11 went too fast/ all the things i wanted to do before the year 12's graduate.

i've always wanted to tell that person what i've been dying to tell, but i don't think i can anymore. i guess maybe due to the fact that i am no longer the same person i was at the start of the year, over the year i've found that the world has become so complicated and even if so, why is it that those who are younger then me know this better then i do. maybe jake, i think u've grown up too fast, u might want this time back in 10 years.

i want to live the rest of my highschool life without regret, but i'm pretty sure thats not gonna happen, but it would be my wish before i graduate!

we went up to the dandi ranges on monday, it was really good, as dad was driving up the mountain i looked out, and it's that nostic feeling you get when you met someone u don't want to met. at that time i kinda wished that the person who i was thinking about was there too, to share it with me. but i guess it worn't happen, i think we've used up all of our 'relationship quotes'. we proberly worn't met again, but if we do, i hope then i will have the corage to come up to you and ask who you are.

on the other note, i think i've found someone that i've grown to be fond of, like how i was with J....... but then again, i don't know. we're closer? well we talk alot, but somehow he seems distant. apart from NATHAN!! i don't think i've been able to talk to anoyther guy like well nathan. i mean (nathan ur prob reading this but... you know what i mean) well i almost think of nathan as alittle brother. well i hope that maybe this time i'll be able to just leave it.

you that feeling when ur ust upset as if someone's just poured water all over you? well latly thats how i felt. for some reason it feels better ot be apart of a corwd. just walking in the city alone, looking listening and seeing all those people makes me feel better? i guess it just reminds me that there soo many other people out in teh world that is there, thats there just like me, lost and still unaure about the future.

sometimes i wish i could just scream out what i want to say, and be left alone, i don't care what you think, i don't care what he thinks, i don't care what she thinks. i want to scream all that out, but it still seems like mission impossible.

i want to know if i can be me without been me. i want to know if i can say it to him without thinking about other things, i want to be able to just live? i've always thought about what it would be like to be in a story, i just want something to happen. i've gotten to the point where life has become 'white' no longer colourful. i don't care if i get hurt, at least then i'll know i'm alive and not just travelling through void. the world is soo big, yet so small, it's allowed us to met over 6 times in three different cities, i woner if it'll bring us together ever again.

maybe your even reading this, i wish i could know, but i don't/

we're going out to the city 2morow for davy's brithday, even if i say this is a wish, i wish i could met you again, just so i can stop asking myslef, 'who are you?'