sometimes i feel as though i should just hit myslef against the wall... it seems much more productive then what i am doing with my life at the moment...
sometimes it hurts so much, it makes me want to pull my heart out with my bare hands and just watch it thump. because i don't know what i'm ment to be feeling, i don't know my own norm anymore...
i want to hate you with the depth of my heart, but something in me is stopping me, it's telling me, don't be stupid, you might fool others but i know what your really feeling, i know what you really want, i know you will never get what you want.
it seems everytime when happiness come knocking on the door something stops it, it take it away as though i don't deserve it.
did i do something in my past life to make everything my world so dark, so miserable? or does god just like to play jokes on humans everynow and then, and i just happened to win the lotto.
i hate you, i really do, i hate you for making me this way, i hate you for making me fall for you, i hate you for telling me you felt the same way, i hate you for leaving me behind and moving on with your life.
i hate you because i love you.
i wish i could make you cry like the way u've made me cry, i wish i can make you mad like the way you make me mad. i wish i was the only one in your life that can make you laugh, make you cry, make you smile. but i'm not that person am i?
it hurts, it hurts so bad, because i know i was only a stand in, because i know i was merly living in someonelses shadow, and that i was the last one on the list.
it hurts, so bad, it hurts.
and if u came back today, i would take you back without hesitation. i would fall back into your arms without hesitation. i hate you....
i wish i could tell you all of this in person, but i can't i never will. i am not one to voice what i feel, because if i do, i know i'll only be hurt once more.
i wish someone would take me away from all this.