how to make a girl smile

when she says she misses you [she's hurting inside]

that group on facebook made me cry... it really did...

i wish i knew how to tell you, other then the fact that i miss you.

someone tell me... am i crazy?

looking throug the crowd... nothing... there was apart of me that saw you, standing at every corner, at every entrence, at every station... though they weren't you, they were someonelses shadow...

standing at the station, standing by the entrence, waiting, hoping you would walk up from the subway, looking, wishing, that you may just walk off the train... but you didn't

taking the train home, i walked and looked, maybe just maybe he would be there, and yet you weren't.

that part of me keeps looking for you, for your shadow... and yet how can you see a shadow without light? where's the light gone... who's turned the light of in my life? that feeling of wondering through nothing, is painful, no matter how many people i met, i see, i wonder about, no one seems to feel that void...

heartbroken... once again...

i want to run away, but to where? life is so dependent, life is so hard, life is painful, it hurts, it hurts...

i'm working hard, i really am, i'm doing my best, i really am, and yet no matter how much i run, you always seem to be behind me...

something is telling me to keep going, i don't know where that something is comming from, every step i take, i know time is passing, and they say time heals all, has time forgotten me? why aren't you healing me?

why does it seem like i'm running into a wall, banging my head against a wall, hard...

talk to me... tell me... why it is that i can't forget you...

every corner, every step, you seem to be behind me, encouraging me, how? why does it feel like that?

someone tell me, why life has to be so hard....

my mum found my old baby album.... never thought i had one but meh.
i looked at it, and saw a girl who dreamt of been a priate, of been a princess, of been famous, and then i looked in the mirror, and saw a scared person, a person too scared to presue her dream, her ideal life.
i also saw a me that i now know, someone scared to be who they are, because she doesn't know who she is anymore, someone scared to fail because she knows life is too short, and yet can't help but hope that maybe someday, she would win ta lotto and fullfill her dream.
i like to sleep, i like to dream, because, in my dreams, i can travel the world, i can met people who i would never met, i can dream about you and i. and yet once the alam bell goes off, i'm brought back into reality, a world where i can't do as i please.
i guess thats another reason why music has become such a big part in my life, though i can't sing, nor can i read scores, i love it, because it can change your mood, your dreams, it can bring back memories, dreams, feelings...
sometimes i wonder what it is i'm ment to do in life, i mean everyone says 'it's not where you get but how you get there', but in this success driven world, is it real? when you hear a doctor on the end of someone;s name you wow, and when you see a tradie, you merely ignor. i want to, i want to do what i want to do in life, but i can't, why? why can't i do what i want?
life has become more of a drag then a enjoyment...
i wish i knew how to make it fun again

another day has passed, and it's making me think, maybe i need to get away,,, the exams are comming and i'm starting past exams today..... i will do my best..... though most of ta time my best isn't good.
which made me think, what does do your best mean> i mean wat if your best is crap, wat if no matter how many 'bests' you try, you worn;t succed... was it wrong? for me to like you, was it wrong, to have felt what i felt? or is it wrong to acknowlege what i felt. i think right now, if someone would care, i would probly dive into their laps.
i dont want to forget, and i worn;t... because you are you

一天一天的就这样过去了，一天一天的我也这样熬过来了，其实我要的梦并不大，只要偶然幸福就可以了。
也许是我的错，是我太好强了，太任性了，太幼稚了。我会加油的，嗯，一定会的。

为什么。。。还那么的痛。。。好痛。。。
你知道吗？那几个晚上，我的枕头一直是湿的，那几个晚上我心好痛好痛，现在也是。想哭，想闹，想忘记，可是没有办法，现在还是。每一次写到你，眼泪就会不知不觉的掉下来，心也就这样开始痛，想哭，可是又没有原因，我也知道这个世界的复杂，也知道我是不够好，可是眼泪还是一滴一滴的掉下来。
想问的为什么，我已经有了答案，想问你好吗, 我也知道你是不会回答的，想知道你的心变了吗，我也知道因该有了。
失恋的感觉是无法形容的，那种痛，不舍，无奈，你懂吗？
你知道吗？我还是那么的想你，我的心还是没有办法把你放下，难道你要我求你，要我在你面前哭你才会知道我对你的感觉？我常常会想如果我学一下‘小女生’，学一下撒娇，学一下当一个诺如的女生，说不定你会回头，可是这不是我。我不是哪一种会撒娇的女生，我也不会碰到问题就往你那里跑。对不起。也许我太独立了，也许我不适合，可是每个女生都是想要被人爱的，可是有一些是得不到这种爱的，我因该就是这一挂的吧，无论都么的想你，喜欢你，答案，结局还是一样的。何必那？何必那么的伤心，那么的用工，心痛。

if you are, tell me, if your not tell me, r u reallly doing what i asked you? if you are tell me if your not tell me... please