just then... i click on my iTunes... the song it decied to play Rainie's 匿名的朋友。
不知不觉，想起了一些去年的点点滴滴，想起你。出去走了一走，想了一想，我真的还是很想你，想念你的认真，想念你的白痴~~哈哈~~ 不知道你会不会有时想起我。我希望我们不会变成歌里的主角。。。
这几天我发现了，我发现在我身边我一个喜欢我的人，因为他是朋友，因为不想伤害他，因为还喜欢着你，所以没有勇气说‘不’。对不起，对不起。我不想放弃，我不想放弃我对你的感情，因为好不容易有了勇气说出口，因为好不容易有了勇气。。。

‘也许我们当时我们年纪真的太小，从那懵懵懂懂走进自己的天空’

sometimes when i think about myslef, i wonder, i really do, i think what it would be like if i were maybe that much more prettier, if i were just that much more smarter, if i was much more skinnier....
i really do....
sometimes i wonder what it's like to be someone perfect, and then think, no i don't want to be perfect, life would be soo boring.
i really like now, the feeling of just been, just sitting here, nor happy or sad. writing to myslef, like i always do. it feels soo much more better then to sit in a class room and think of other stuff that i don't understand, 2morow period 1 i shall go to studio and enjoy myslef~~ yay~~

i opened up that box agian today, it's kind of sad. i remeber when i brought it, i was going to give it to you on the 14th, but didn't. who knows maybe someday i would get the chance to give it to you, i may not. i think you would've liked it.

up really late today... the 1st time in a long time.
the chem class is on the 28th. it's a really good chance to go and listen to a bunch of really good teachers talk, so if ur readin (though already posted it on ur msn) come. i'm going with a friend, it'll be nice to see you again. after all we havn't seen each other in litrally ages,,,,

ahh work is drving me crazy, i wish everything was as easy as studio, now when i think about it studio is the only time that would let me have a rest.
i miss everyone, i really do, i miss the saturdays when we would just be able to sit and muck around. i miss making fun of mr tempura, i really miss everyone. though last year wasn't something i want to remember, but i had alot of fun, and i wouldn;t change a thing. at the end of this i want to be able to say i enjoyed my last year of high school, and that i really had alot of fun.
i'm doing phy homework right now, the fact that i;m not getting alot of them right worries me. but pratice makes perfect, i think if i do enough of them i;ll understand. so fighting!!!
i want to say that i don't miss you, but i do. i miss our little converstantions, i miss just listening to your voice, and ur comments on how short sighted you are.
i think, i understand what alot of people have gone though. i've always wondered what it would have been like if we both had the guts to say it in yr 10. when i think about it, if i hadn't been a better actor we would have been together for a year now. if missing someone is like this, then i hope to get more of the sweet then the bitter.
time is running under from our feet, in years time lets met in shanghai, both grown up, both more mature, and maybe even giving it another try. until then i'll try my best~

back from school, i feeling really really bad.....
well mainly because of what heejin said, 'if you like him then say no to 'him'' note here the two hims are different people. it's not that i don't want to say no.. i did... but it doesn't seem as though he understands.... i didn't want to go with him because i wanted someonelse to come, and that person is someone who is EVIL!!!
i don't know i've been feeling annoyed latly.... studio is probaly the only subject i don't have a sac for in the next few weeks. soon the days before the formal will get crazy, and i hope i can get through all of it....
i'm meant to be concentration on school, but you people keep making me do this and that how am i meant to do alll of it when i have homework that will never be finished!!! ok i'm going to go and write my work breif, so that next week i can concentrate on my english and tomorow a whole day of physics and writting my physics prac, lets see what i'll get for my 1st sac... lets hope it's going to be good, because i'm really workiong hard my mock sac was a 8.5 so lets see if i can get it to a 9.5-10

as march draws closer, my formal does to, thinking back to when we talked, it's really making me sad.

as much as i would like to say i'm coping, i'm not. for the nxt few weeks i will have sac's after sac's, i'm feeling overwhelmed. thats when i start to miss you. the world around me seems to be spinnning on it's own without my help. i want give up and just sit and watch the world pass by.

i wish we were back in year 10 when we could do wat ever we wanted. when weekends were weekends, and after school weren't filled with homework but just nothing.

it might seem hard to say but i miss chinese school, i miss all my friends over there, but they live so far from me. i feel as the world is spinning on without me and i'm been left behind.

my world has become too small, instead of been stuck in a class room i want to travel, i want to see the world and enjoy every part of it, but i won't ever be able to do that, because reality will always set in.

i wish the world will come to me, let me see you, one part at a time. theres apart of me that wants to drop everything and just become a hobo. the fact that they have nothing and nothing to fear. i wish that i to have nothing to fear nothing to lose.

as a friend would say 'life goes on'

i wish i could say 'life stops here'