sometimes i wonder y it is my life is full of those who just think they are better then everyone. no matter race or back ground, not liking someone doesn't mean tolerance shouldn't be placed.
you don't like them then walk away, instead of having a hissy fit about these things. really learn to mature, because in society no one will tell you to, they will only leave u behind. while your trying to be 'cool', people who understand this world have moved on.
today i learnt something, sometimes there are people you should just know and not really get involved with. someone thing i learnt today, no matter how rushed i seem, i believe I'm rather tolerant. i understand when jokes are jokes, but i think i know where the line is. i stop when i get to it.
a word of warning to those who are reading this. this world is tolerant but if u urslef isn't mature enough to tolerant this world then you should grow. or while everyone else is making new memories, you'll be left behind, still living in ur childish world. learn to live, to forget, to forgive, or the world will start to hate you.

though my life isn't something that i can i say i've always loved, nor can i remeber when it is i've started to feel like this. life is so quiet.
i think i've grown to understand that not everything in the world will work out just right. though some times we hope they do but they don't. i think i know whats right and wrong now.
i know it was right for me to like you
but it was wrong for us to be together at that time
i know i was right to ask and say yes
but i know it was wrong for me to hold onto it

now i know, now i know that what i did was both right and wrong, but now i wonder, if they were both right and wrong then y is it the line beween them was so vage?

i still like you, i do, but i don't think it would be fair for me to hold onto it. for the moment i've learnt to live and learn, for the moment i've learnt that no matter how hard i try at things i worn't be able to understand them, so for now i'll just let it be and let it take it's course.

yesterday was valentines day. i wondered i really did that if we were together whether we would have gotten the chance to celebrate it together. yesterday would have been our two months as well.
i didn't cry yesterday, i cried on friday, when i knew that no one would have noticed then i relised that i still miss you. i really do. though i know i'm not allowed to, but i do. i still have that right don't i?
i'm working hard i really am, i'm trying my best, i really am, i'm trying to smile, i really am.
i remeber saying to myslef 'you know this will get you into trouble, you know your too navie, you know your just too stupid' but it still lead to this.
i remeber picking up my phone at least 100 times, but i didn't have the courage. i know that you might read this, infact i'm wishing you would. because then i would know you care.
theres always apart of me thats sitting there waiting, i just don't know if that part of me wants you to come. if you come what would you say? would you say, stop sitting here, because i don't want you, or would you come and let me hear what i want to hear?
i really miss you....

jess if your reading this, go for it, though sometime's it seems scary, but if you don't try, you'll never know. so go for it, and give yourslef a chance. even though you think the world is against you, you know that u've always got me. it;s better to have love and lost, the to have not loved. understand me when i say, love isn't something to be laughed at, or to be cried over, because love is what you make of it. you laugh because you've seen yourslef grow, you cry because you know the truth. give it a chance and it'll grow, if you don't it'll never grow. jess go for it, because we both you this has been going on for a while.

a friend worte on facebook 'i wish i can just stand in the rain until i get a cold'
i can understand it, the feeling of just wanting to stand out in the heavy rain, and just feel cold. because at least then you know the coldness you feel is from teh rain, and not because the world hates you.
i just finished my english essay, i worn't post it, probly because i feel too personally attached to it then normal. but life at the moment is soo confusing.
a friend (whom i think i'm close with and enjoy talking to) asked me to the formal. though i don't know for sure if it's because he's a friend, or because he likes me. i feel bad, because i answered yes and then said no.
the yes, was because i wanted to say to him 'i said yes to someonelse' the no was becuase, though i say it, i really really miss you.
i know i made that person feel really really bad, i know i gave that person hope, and then just plunged them into hell. i'm sorry, i really am, because i too know the feeling of that. i'm sorry becauce i used you in some ways, i'm sorry because i gave you hope that wasn't meant to be there, i'm sorry that maybe if i hadn't met that person, i would have said yes and would be more then willingly give you a chance.
as i wrote my english essay, i can't help but cry over it, because last year, so many things happened. how i treid my best last year to be only dissapointed over and over again, until, well i just gave up and didn't want to care any more. i remembered that feeling of doing my best to only be stomped on by my own teacher. though the essay is only 2 pages long, it took me 3 hours to write it, because i had to constantly stop and get tissues, to the point where i stopped and came onto the computer. i know i feel better after writting it. i know that no matter what i get for it, i know that i'll be proud. because everything in there is true, cross my heart and hope to die.
well thats all for tonight~ good nite

ok~ me back~ ha long time no post
in the past few days i've relised that in our small little school there are soo many who think they are better then everyone. like seriously ppl.. it's just a colour!
not letting someone in the same car because they are wearing the same colour is just plan STUPID...
and planing 8 MONTHS AHEAD OF SOMETHING MORE STUPID... unless ur getting married ect...
i find that there are so many people who just simply think too much, and hold themsleves much too high.
anywa thats my thought of the day~

我要的不是承诺，而只是一个答案。

当我们有勇气去爱时，我们却没有勇气放弃。当我们有勇气放弃时，我们没有勇气说出口那三个字。当我们有勇气说出那三个字时，已经来不及了。

如果哪一年我们有勇气去爱，结果还会是一样的吗？

当我有勇气说出那三个字时，以及经太晚了，对不起。

当你有勇气回答时，我们已经没有机会了。

现在我懂了，上面的人给了我们机会，可是我们没有好好把握它。上面的人给了我一段很短的感情，你给了我勇气。谢谢。

give it alittle time, and the heart will grow fonder.. give it too much time, and the heart will grow tierd.
every girl want someone to love them, care for them, to be held before everything. every girl wants someone to love them whole heartedly.
i can't say that i've frozen it yet. latly infact it's become easier to just forget. but i don't want to run away. i don't want to hid what i know and wat i'm feeling. i want to blame you, but i can't. becuase i know it was my fault.
so please forgive me, because i don't know what i'm meant to do about it. i wish i could say that i hate you, that i hate you for leaving me behind. that i hate you for even been there, but i can't. sometimes i wonder what it is that drives me everyday.
i heard someone say once. when someone never learns something it's because that person is waiting for the other half to teach them, do it for them
at times like this i wish i wasn't a girl. i wish i would be able to just coldly say no and move on. but i can't. i miss you still, though i don't know if i'm allowed to say it, but i do. and because i do, i want to be your friend.
i know where i stand, and i'll stand it until u notice.