havn't been feeling good all day...... i think i pick up the fone at least 100 times..... to txt or not to..... and then everytime i do i think that it'll gte you into trouble..... and yet at the same time..... i wanted too soo badly...... so i called a friend and wasted all mai credit.... so for the rest of this year... i worn't be able to txt anyone.....

i really really really miss you..... i think this is the first time we havn't talked in a day......

oh another note spent ALL my money today~~~ getting presnts for people.... = v = i am now offically POV!!!

anyway going of~

and if your reading good nite~~~

back on again..... wanna talk to you...... but i know i shouldn't call...... i would only get you into troble..... at times like this i wonder who i can talk 2.... and when i think closly.... i wouldn't talk 2 anyone.... cos it would only bring them trouble......................

i wish i could talk.... cos at the mom...... i don't know.......

i'm been slefish aren't i?

i'm sorry...... i really am......

i was talking to junkers/// everytime the fone vibrated i was hoping it was you..... that kind of anticipation..... it can kill someone you know....

if i talked to you about this stuff, would u get annoyed? if i told you i was feeling lonley and sad, wil it only trouble you?

i guess this is wat people call 'missing someone'. good nite....

theres a chinese saying 'if a girl says the world is coming to an end, then nothing is wrong. But if a girl says nothing, then the world is coming to an end.'

i didn't understand what the saying meant, i mean why can't we just say what we want? but now i do. it's because we care for them that we do that. i understand, i really do, but i can't help but feel lonley... after all after all that i finally got to taste the apple. but now your telling me i can only have one bite, and the rest has to be saved.

i know i should be good, and say that i understand, thats y i didn't say anything. but i still can't help but yell in my head, y can't u do somthing. i know i shouldn't i know i'm just been slefish, but i can't help it.

i want to say that i can support you 100% but right now, i don't know if i can. anyway it's the new year soon. though i really wanted to spend christmas with you, we didn't get the chance. and hopefully there will be a chance when we can spend a christmas together. happy new year, they say you should spend new years eve with the person you like then you'll be able to spend the whole year together. i don't think we will get that chance.

my feelings havn't change, but it seems to me that reality has set in. reality is so cruel. maybe if i didn't live so far away, maybe if i went to the same skool. maybe if i had told you earlyer then this year we could have spent christmas together or even last years. can't help but feel foolish, that maybe last year, if i hadn't held so tightly onto joachim then i could have had something great.

right now i think i'll just do what i always do. i'll stay silently next to you, i'll do my best to do my best. and i hope, in some time we can maybe spend sometime together, even if it's for 5 mins.....

feeling sad isn't somthing that happens to me often, at least not alot of people know about it. but right now i have the courage to say that i'm feeling sad and lonley. and it doesn't feel so good. i think it's tha first time that i've been able to say so. if your reading this, don't mind it, i'm always over dramatic. i'm fine, and i always will be...

a belated Merry Xmas everyone and happy new year. i hope you are enjoying every mintue of life at the moment because next year, it might all change.

good nite~~~

just finished watching tao hua xiao mei.... it kinda made me think..... even though the story line is cheesy but cindy's acting has gotten so much better....
i feel as though that maybe little by little i'm winning you over. for some reason i can't stop thinking about the fact that you felt so bad to see your ex...... is it because u guys had a bad end or because you still like her... if you do.... i don't want to know.... if you don't... i don't want to know....
am i slowing winning maislef a place? or will i never be able to move in. havn't talk in a while... well not a long while cos i'm still (i think i'm still) capped so i'm gonna cheak soon.................. hopefully i still remeber mai password.... skool has been good enjoying it~~~

过去的就让它过吧。。他不再是你世界的一部分了。。因为现在你有了喜欢的人了

考试考好了。。想一想去年的我。。因该还在想着他吧，过去的我真傻。可是爱情也很傻，就算他做了伤害你的事只要他说一声‘对不起’你就会原谅他。现在的我知道过去的哪个不是喜欢而只是崇拜，崇拜他的才华，崇拜他对家人的关心。现在我有了真正喜欢的人，可这次的我，知道这真正是喜欢而不只是崇拜。

这几天我觉得我长大了。谢谢，你，让我学会了怎么真正去喜欢一个人，我现在在这里想跟你说一声‘再见’。

after all that yesterday.... i read back... and also banned you from reading this........ but yes..... some parts of wish you would read this... then maybe you would see what i'm feeling... because i'm scared if i tell u u will run away. tomorow is the last day of chinese school and next year we worn't get to see each other that much.... infact we probly worn't have tha chance to see each other at all..... lets make 2morow a good day,,,, so i can at least hold onto somthing.

every since getting up this morning.... it's been a bad feeling.... but when u replied that text this morning... mai dai got a little better, it might seem crazy but..... when i talked to you about mai past.......... i kind of regreated it.... i should have never said any of those things... because i promised mai slef that i would never tell anyone... but i guess i have now..... sometimes it's hard to explain whats good and bad i life... so at the mom i don't know whether this is good or bad.... because i don't know what good and bad anymore.... is it 'bad' to like you? or is it good? is it bad to tell you? or is it good?

i remeber reading in teh chiese newpaper about 'waht a good man and a rich man can give you' i remeber the author worte 'a rich man is someone who would take you out to a 5 star hotel and treat you like a princess, a good man will take you out to a picnic and make you feel like a princess' the last sentencs she worte in that paragraph was 'if you happen to find someone... it's better he be a good mand then a rich one...' i know 3 years ago i would have said i want the rich man, but now i would say, i want the good man. it's funny how someone can make you change like that... no matter how harrd it might seem it is what has happened. i've changed thanxs to you... i guess i want to thank you for at lest that... thank you....

it's ironic that the person who can make you laugh is also the person that can make you cry. how one word can bring all ta happniese down..... it's like within seconds the great wall of china fell down to an earthquake.
in some ways i understand.... i understand what it is u want..... but in other ways i want u to at least care little more... then before... somehow u gave me the courage to contiune to hope but at the same time the more hope given means the harder i fall.... i wonder.... i know i shouldn't feel this way after all, u never did anything.... maybe it's because u didn't do anything that made me misunderstand..... but is it a misunderstanding? no matter wat..... i don't know....... i don't know what to say..... or how to say it..... it feels as though i tried so hard and let down that wall for it to only be constructed thicker then ever before..... it hurts..... it does at the moment...... how ever this isn't because of u but because of mai stupidity....
that conversation we just had....... can i just forget it? sometimes i wish mai life was a show...... so i can at least have the control over wat goes to air........ however i guess it'll never happen...... i just..... i should just put the mask back on.............. like nothing happened before.... maibe over time these feelings will change.... right now i don't know whether i want them to change..... is it because u've been the only other person i've wanted to open up to? and slowly i have to you......... so right now i'll lock that part away and just be friends//////
i hope u don't read this.... because//// for some reason at the moment.... darkness seems that much more inviting then ever before....
the hoildays will be here soon........... and so will a new year.............

is this wat been truly happy is like? if it is then i don't want it to go away.
my exams are coming up in 2 days now~ for some reason i feel as though theres more of a reason to go for it. some of me is doing it for me, the other to prove all those people wrong. you may be the greatest, but unfortuneatly ur not a 'great' person.
noob 'called' me today~ i was soo happy~~~~~~~ little suprised and got scared and thought wat if it was his mum???? and then when he picked up i was happy
exams are coming and they'll go fast, i just want this happiness to last for a while, so i can enjoy it. in a few months i'll be 18, i'll be legelly alowed to got to clubs ect. i wonde rhwo i'm going to spend it.
FIGHTING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
good luck to all those doing VCE 3 and 4 this year and good luck al
i know it might to be tooo early to be saying good byes but
good bye yr 12~~~ good bye out dear tiffiny.
and thank you for this memorable year!

wat does it mean when some doesn't want to admit somthing? does it mean what i think it means? does it mean that that person does and worn't 'addmit' to it, or does it just mean that that person worn't say?

it's drving me nuts... he said not to wait, he said he worn't addmit, he tells me not to wait in vain... but can i do that? does it mean that he might like me back, and that i've found someone that i can acurally talk to? or does it just mean that he's been nice and letting me down slow. if your letting me down slow, i rather u tell me, so i can at least say i hate you for doing that. but if you do acurally feel somthing then i think i should at least be allowed to know, cos then i know i wouldn't be imagining things...

sometimes i wish you could just make me angry, and make me hate you. so that i can at least have a reason to just hate you, but then when i think about it, i would miss all the times we talk, abotu movies, about our daily lives. u know u've been the first person that i've wanted to show my whole slef to, every bit of my personailty, every thing good and bad. am i imaging that u and i share something? tat u might too have feelings back?

what does addmit mean?

i don't know what to start off with. i don't know what to do. everytime i hear that song 'it's you' why is it that i get a feeling that somethings missing, that feeling that i've once had the happness of what the song is describing. i want to know, why is it that everytime i hear it i think of that. though i don't know what the lyrics are saying, the melody makes me think of first love. the exictment of meeting someone you feel for for the first time, they seem to shine. everymove they make seem to be for you. it's like saying 'your the only one'.

why is it i'm scared, i'm scared to say it, i'm scared i'll scare you off. no matter how much time passes your still in my mind, why, why, why,

why is it that i crave for this feeling, the feeling of been liked accpeted, prehaps even treasured. as the exams draw near, i want to give up everything and for ever remain, been a child, been small, i want to be protected. not from the world but from my head. o'brien said that you don't need to change the stars only the reality that the stars have been changed.

does that mean if i believe hard enough, it'll change? my life will change?

i want to run back into time, to the time when i was just a child and enjoy it, instead of trying to grow up, instead of trying to be something i'm not. i want to know, i want to know what you know, i want to know what i don't know.

sometimes i wonder if this is all that life has to offer. if this was it, if this was what they call life. if it is i would like a refund. i would liek to try someonelses on, and see what it's like in their shoes. i wonder how much it would cost me. i remeber once i told a friend, if i was to lose my memory, i would like to never rember it. i want to start anew, be a different person. i want to know. i want to understand, understand what it's like to be different.

i want for my life to start again, because if it did i would know for sure this time that i don't need money, i don't need a perfect lifestyle, i just need to live. instead of trying to please those around me, maybe i could do things slefishly, and just take what i want, but all i'm left with is my head. a head full of rubish, a head full of everyonelse. i want to be me again. a me without worries. without havong to work, me without 'me'

i sometimes wonder what death would be like, if it were just a sleep, cos if it were, i would be able to dream, dream with all my might. i want to reach and search for my dreams, i want to be free from reality.

no matter how hard i try, i can't seem to make you understand. i don't want money, i don't want a comfortable lifestyle, i want to run, i want to feel the rush from just running, anywhere blind.

i wish you could read this, and maybe then you'll understand alittle bit about me. instead of always staring into my smiling face.

a note, often the poor people have smiling faces, because there isn't anythingelse left for them to have besides from a smile. i smile because if i don't i would just cry all the time, i laugh because i don't want my friends to worry, i hide behind the wall because i don't want to forget that i will never be able to run away from reality. they say life has highs and lows, just like ones heartbeat, but howcome mine seems to stand still, a life without a heartbeat

second thought on the first day

i guess before was just me feeling bad... over the weekend i was watching SuperJunior's mainland tour ages ago. it makes me think, how full their life is, how different their lives are, been able to travel having thousands upon thousands of fans screaming out their name. i would love that, i want to be in the spotlight, enjoy life and enjoy what life can bring. i want to be able to travle, to hold concerts, be able to have influence upon people.

all the people in the world seem to be working hard to get to where they want to get to, why can't i? i can never seem to find my path, maybe i don't have a path, maybe i'm that one person who doesn't have a future. someone once told me following your dream takes courage, maybe thats the courage i don't have. i once had a dream about standing on the international stage with my designs on the runway, i've had dreams about been a popstar in asia touring with thousands of fans screaming out my name. all those dreams crush by my reality, those things will never happen. i want to be able to have the courage to run full forward without worry without hesitation, but i can't. i want to freely reach for my goal, even if i don't make it i will be fullfilled. i want to, but i can't, my life is chained down by words, by resposiblity, by reailty.

i've always wanted to know what it would feel like if i had a person to fall back on, now when i think i have i'm scared to hold onto him, scared that i will become his chain that will chain him down. i want to be able to tell him how i really feel, and yet i can't because i'm scared that i'll loose what i've worked soo hard to find, that feeling for hope, comfort, happiness. even if i have to, i'll keep quietly next to him, supporting him, even if i worn't be able to get that back, it makes me feel alive.

i was watching next station happiness today. i remeber the male lead said 'i play hocky because it's the only think that tells me that i'm alive. everytime i'm tackeled, hit, i know i feel pain, thats the only way i know i'm alive.' now when i think back, everytime i play hocky, i too was serching for somthing, but instead i was serching for control, not of my life, but of me. just like hockey, for some reason he makes me feel alive, and not dead. i'm sorry....

i want ot be able to scream it out, and say it but i can't, but i'll stand beside you and help you, because for a long time you've been the only one thats been able to make me feel this way.

first day back~~

the school seem livly today~ after all it was the first day back~~~ i really like school, i get to be with friends and at the same time enjoy my school life. but in a year we'll be leaving school and walking into soceity. i'm scared of that, i'm scared of resposiblity, i'm scared that school life will be ending, so for the rest of this year and the next year i'm going to enjoy school life to it's fullest.

i want to stay at school, because it's the only place i can be me, and enjoy my life without worries, everyelse is full of resposiblity and truth. reality is so harsh.

for some unknow reason he keeps poping up into my head, as hard as i try to overcome it, it keeps going, way are u coming back to haunt me when've i'm moved on? why does it feel as though i'm lying to myslef when i say i don't? and yet at the same time that someonelse makes me feel better, like i'm worth somthing. wat are u doing? though i'm 100% sure that u will never care, that u will never even know, why do i keep holding on.

i've tried walking away, running away, walking into it, running into it. what will i do? can i say that i like a person when apart of me is feeling like a lier?

i want to know, what u think, how it was, and how u've been, i've never had teh courage to talk to u, even for a second. u just keep quiet and out of the way, and yet u seem so warm.

maybe if i said it again, maybe if i said that imight still, did like you, maybe then u will leave me alone. but i don't want to. i want to feel this warm fuzzy thing, it's so nice.

am i starting to like you? even thoygh i know someone that like you? even though i know u will say no. does that mean i can't like you? i know i've told u, liking someone doesn't mean u hav to make a move, but sometimes theres enough like to make you want to. should i? i know it'll bring you more harm then good, and yet i can't stop. it feels good to talk 2 u, it makes my day alittle better, just siting there waiting for teh text back, though sometimes it takes a few hours, every one of those mintues is sweet. i find myslef stuck between two rocks, and maybe i'll never get out. i guess if you read this you would know who you are, but will you?

sometimes it makes me want to go back to the time in year 9 and 10 when u can just muck around with out worries but now we have the exams coming up, and then yr 12, i guess i'll bring more trouble then good. i guess i should run away for now, and maybe come back to it in 2 years.

but will i be able to?

hiya~

i was reading back on my blogs and now i've relised how many spelling mistakes i have... sorri?!

well apart from teh usual up and downs i've decied that i want to make t-shrits~~~ i've got a few designs i'll post them up when i've acurally made th t-shrits~~

i was reading a friends blog before, that person's life is so different from mine, full of events, while mine is just pain old me, but i guess i enjoy this feeling? the feeling of not been rushed of not been hurried into something.

i was talking to someone else before.. i've grown to like them, they feel so warm and comfortable to me, i want to know if that'll make me suffer in the future. i was thinking about getting another hair cut, then as i was watching tv i kinda missed my long hair, but my hair grows fast it'a already past my shoulders now.

i guess there isn't much to write about today, nothing much has happened latly, but i guess something will.

we went to a hot pot store with a bunch of friends to celebrate davy's b'day and our success during asian week~~ yea it was fun. as we walked to the hot pot place, i looked everywhere, hoping i might caught a glimps of you, but u were there. maybe i'm been slefish, maybe i'm just been stupid, but i really want to met u again just once, but i'm afarid if i met u again i'll ask for more and more. i want to know who u are

update

he he havn't updated enough.. well it's the hoildays, and it's making me think maybe year 11 went too fast/ all the things i wanted to do before the year 12's graduate.

i've always wanted to tell that person what i've been dying to tell, but i don't think i can anymore. i guess maybe due to the fact that i am no longer the same person i was at the start of the year, over the year i've found that the world has become so complicated and even if so, why is it that those who are younger then me know this better then i do. maybe jake, i think u've grown up too fast, u might want this time back in 10 years.

i want to live the rest of my highschool life without regret, but i'm pretty sure thats not gonna happen, but it would be my wish before i graduate!

we went up to the dandi ranges on monday, it was really good, as dad was driving up the mountain i looked out, and it's that nostic feeling you get when you met someone u don't want to met. at that time i kinda wished that the person who i was thinking about was there too, to share it with me. but i guess it worn't happen, i think we've used up all of our 'relationship quotes'. we proberly worn't met again, but if we do, i hope then i will have the corage to come up to you and ask who you are.

on the other note, i think i've found someone that i've grown to be fond of, like how i was with J....... but then again, i don't know. we're closer? well we talk alot, but somehow he seems distant. apart from NATHAN!! i don't think i've been able to talk to anoyther guy like well nathan. i mean (nathan ur prob reading this but... you know what i mean) well i almost think of nathan as alittle brother. well i hope that maybe this time i'll be able to just leave it.

you that feeling when ur ust upset as if someone's just poured water all over you? well latly thats how i felt. for some reason it feels better ot be apart of a corwd. just walking in the city alone, looking listening and seeing all those people makes me feel better? i guess it just reminds me that there soo many other people out in teh world that is there, thats there just like me, lost and still unaure about the future.

sometimes i wish i could just scream out what i want to say, and be left alone, i don't care what you think, i don't care what he thinks, i don't care what she thinks. i want to scream all that out, but it still seems like mission impossible.

i want to know if i can be me without been me. i want to know if i can say it to him without thinking about other things, i want to be able to just live? i've always thought about what it would be like to be in a story, i just want something to happen. i've gotten to the point where life has become 'white' no longer colourful. i don't care if i get hurt, at least then i'll know i'm alive and not just travelling through void. the world is soo big, yet so small, it's allowed us to met over 6 times in three different cities, i woner if it'll bring us together ever again.

maybe your even reading this, i wish i could know, but i don't/

we're going out to the city 2morow for davy's brithday, even if i say this is a wish, i wish i could met you again, just so i can stop asking myslef, 'who are you?'

YAY~

well life has been good to me.

our skool's asian week is coming up and we're selling noodles!!! and dumplings!! and coke.......

yes coke........

anyway on saturday i was able to talk to someone with out been called a man, well for most of it anyway. i guess i never relised how complicated he is, been a simple minded person, i rarely ever think that much into something, but then again maybe i just don't want to. maybe it'll make me think about the bad in people.

he has soo many masks.... so many.... maybe it's just because i'm more slef centered then most people, that i don't see the things they want me to see.

talking to him made me think about when i was alittle, and like that. i remeber in primary school, i was always the nice one, tryning to make eveyone like me? then as i got older i grew tierd of it, and slowly i became me, the annoying, attenion seeking, loud, naive idiot, who's enjoing life.

now when i think about it, i never enjoyed been a child, i always wanted to be older and be able to do things on my own. maybe this was because of the way i grew up, i remeber i started to make my own lunch in grade 3 and by grade 4, i did everything myslef. now when i think back, i never really had a childhood.

i really miss been a navie, stupid child, who was just been a child. and i know i'll never get that chance ever again, that might be my biggest regret of my life. i guess me been who i am i would really want to go back and tell myslef to just enjoy today, and not think about 2morow, becasue 2morow never comes.

no matter how hard i try, i can never forget those times when i've achevied something and my parents never saw it. i remeber last year someone said to me 'didn't u get enough hugs from your daddy?' though that person ment it as a joke, i remeber coming home and crying my eyes out. my dad and mum never cared. no matter how well i got at school or worked, they never looked at me.

i want to go back to those days, and just tell myslef to stop hoping that they would be sitting in the audience, but even now i can't do that, even now when i look out, i just hope their there to say 'good job'.

i've always admired those who've had bright childhoods, because those people always seemed too happy as adults.

maybe i'm too slefish asking so much from them, but is it really alot? i want to go back to when i was onlt in grade 1 and tell myslef, act dumb, be stupid, do stupid things, so at least they know your there.

hello!!

havnt blogged for a while... this is all facebooks fault.....

anyway nothing much happened... well acurally not alot at all.....

i was talking to a friend, well yesterday, and well i worn't name names... but it's pretty ov who i was talking to. anyway he's still heart broken? i don't know, he was saying something else, and his blog was saying something else so me is confused.....

but it made me think how a relationship can really change what you think and how you think. though it might not be my place to say anything, but i kinda hope he can work it out.

(O..............O)

i was thinking before about someone else... i mean will i really meet him again? may be in 5 years in china again or maybe today at my work place. i mean is he even the same guy? i really wanna know the answer to my question after all, it's been stuck in my head for a while now, and i really don't know what to do.

(T^T)

for some unknown reason he has a mysterious side to him, which makes me want to know who he is even more. i don't know what to do, maybe if i had a picture of him i could post it on wretch or blogger, but i don't. i guess i'll just havta wait until if i ever met him again.

o(^O^)oo(^O^)oo(^O^)o

on a lighter note, my physics test mark was good, at least i'm happy with it, and my methods exam is coming up, i am gonna fail....

my game plan is this, just do alot of exam papers and stuff the exercises that mr killeen tells us to do for homework....... not that i don't do them......

i acurally just did an exam one.... it seems easy, around the same as our sac's and yet again i dont get every good marks for a sacs.... but i think it's not that i don't know the stuff, i just lack exercise... so i guess it'll be bye bye FB, games for the rest of the days until the exams....

my detail study is going well, but you can tell my tutour getting annoyed at me for still not memorising it.... but mweee....

anyway i'm gonna go and make a new pencil case now... i feel like a change of surrounding, not that my pencil case will be anybigger then my current one... but not in much of a doing hw mood...... ok 88 for now

hA~

well havn't bloged for a while..... he he......

I FINALLY FISHED ALL OF MY DETAILED STUDY~~~~~~~~~~

yes life is good~~~

i was playing with my camrea a few days ago... finally some sun in the melbourne sky.. and i ened up playing with them~~

at times like this i wish i have a tablet... but all well a scanner does the same work... he he

i have to say the mainland chinese verson of Hana yori Dango... kinda sucks... so far the korean verson is the best.... waiting for summer's bubble to show up sometime soon. while i'm no the Topic of dramas MAN Y HASN"T ANYONE SUBBED GOKUNSEN!!!! WHY!!!! it's already been like a month I WANT TO SEE IT ALREADY!~!!!!!

anyway thats all today right more 2morow if i remebr

~~~

这几天很烦。。。不知道为什么。。。重觉得生活中少了什么。。。可是又没办法点出那是什么东东。。。

啊烦阿~~不知道是什么。。。。真烦。。

其实想一想，好像是从那次碰到莫莫以后开始有着一种感觉的。。。为什么会有呢？他到底是谁?为什么会有着一种力量能让我日日都想着他。。。

希望能回答着一些问题。。。明天又要上课~如果能再次碰到他我一定会问他的，你和我太有缘了。。

omg.. i can't believe it... i met him again

for those of us who don't know a few years ago i went to Beijing in 2008 with my family and there i met this guy (might i add he was cute!) and i met his continously on the bus, on the street even outside the toilet....

well today... i met him again... here in melbourne Aust...... i don't know what to say....

i swear i was soo shocked~~

wagged skool///

no skool today~~ acurally we have a athletics carnival... but no slef respecting asian will go... unless ur acurally racing today... he he

at the mom i'm into kai xin wang.. it's soo funny, i stole someone rabbit just then and the rabbit is soo cute~~~ yes they are

(~O~)

he he i'm doing physics homework and methoday today.... and maybe a little of my detailed study.... i hope my tutor can help me on it cos i have no idea what to write....

(* *)

my fav music site has been taken down,,, asian heaven.... RIP.... i miss u already i was gonns donwload epick high's new album..... anyway i guess i'll just havta work harder for my music now/ which reminds me i need to acurally maybe need to do some work now... i finished coping all my notes from physics.... yes physics..... a............

(O O)

i was thinking before... i wonder..... never mind

he he off i go~~~

he he

havn't blogged for a while now.... anyway i got my physics results back i got 87%.... the only marks taken off were from the last page.... everything else was right.... annoyyed

(= =)

i could have gotten 100%

(= =)

i really could have... the only physics test i could have ever gotten 100% on i missed...

anyway monash open day was fun on sunday... this sunday using RMIT open day as excuse to go shopping for a new school bag... yes my puma bag broke into pieces.... litrally...

i got a chinese tutor, her name is shelly and she;'s gonna help me with my detail study that was due lats last last last last week.... he he my chinese teacher is worried.... well i'm not.... oh i got 100% on my methods test 2day.... it was only off the disc but i still got 100%~~~

d(^O^)b

i'm really happy today

the only other thing is my thai baby cut his hair~~ = =

he looks so gay now.....

and paul found who stole his wallet or at least who he thought and it seems like i was right... so and so did steal it... i wanna know what happens next....

finally worked out the kawasaki rose... i spent like 5 days learning and perfecting it.... but man it atkes at least one hour to make each flower and to make it look good..... it's just tooo time comsuming....

and my clear pencile case is now like black... and someone stole mmy pacer again... i can't find it... and i lost my physics folder.....

new hair cut~~~

he he i got a hair cut~~ yes i did finally

o(^O^)oo(^O^)oo(^O^)oo(^O^)o

it's should lenght now and for those who i see on sunday u'll see and for the rest of u wait untill monday (unless ur at chink skool) my head feels so light~~ yes hair does weigh alot... i swea it took the lady 2 hours... to cut my hair, i know it;s long but still 2 hours... i nearly feel asleep.... but she stuffed up my fringe... it's too short i guess it'll grow out..... i hope

anyway heres a pic i took about 5mins ago~~

he he~~~ u can't really see the lenght but it stops at my shoulders~~~

i keep trying to pull my hair forward and then realising that well it worn't cos it;s short now....

d(^O^)b

going to the monash uni open day on sunday... i wonder which campus havn't decied... well i guess i'll havta do some calling... anyway i havta go to the airport in the moring to go and pick her up YAY i have a 'dictionary' back.. now she can help me with my methods.... YAY

any going to go and do my detail study now.. it's due 2morow

havn't done any of it

(= =)

roses...

i sepreated this one from the one below, well because. the last one was really depresseing and i didn't know how to jump from that to this, after school on saturday and bright sunday morning, i got on you tube and found out how to make a rose,,, out of paper, it doens't look as good as i want it to but it will so more practice.... anyway when i finish one that i think looks like the way i want it to i'll post it up for everyone to see, talking about roses the ones i made out of ribbon are still sitting there on my deask now full of dust... people were telling that it's weird for rose to make roses..... anyway i love them... he he

(^^)

love? what is it?

we were in english today when our teacher mrs c decied for us to expolor LOVE IS A PARADOX

though love is a selfless thing we seem to do so many selfish things in order to gain it. they say love is the only thing you should be selfish about, and yet we become so selfless in love.

we love to the extant that we come to hate, hating someone so much that everything about them becomes us.

i wonder what it's like to acurally 'love' someone, it's a owrd used so commonly and yet i have no idea of it's meaning and what it feels like. sometimes i evny those who have been in love, even if they were hurt, their emitions are real. yet i feel as though i am just passing time. i wonder what it's like to feel.

i've always admired jake and connies love for each other, and how deeply they were in love, and how once that love changes into something different their relationship also changes. i wonder why it is that humans crave for love the way we do. prehaps love is the meaning of life, maybe our lives are set out to love someone deeply and then move on.

the thought of never accurally loving someone deep enough for me to want to give them everything. i may never learn of that 'love', i may just make myslef believe thats it's love and allow myslef to get sweeped away by the whole culture of love. has anyone ever felt love in it's purest form?

if u have an idea, leave a comment i would like to know, how do u know when love comes knocking?

Test~~

yes my first physics semester 2 test has come about
(= =)
not looking forward to it, i was watching shinny inheridence about an hour ago.. man does the ending suck! well not the ending but like the last episode... it was just them been lovy dovy~ not intersting at all....
i fail to understand y li seung gi is cute........i really do... i mean junse oppa is much much better looking and is also nicer
d(^o^)b
i think i need to go and study now.... i hope i get a good mark, i mean it would need it.
talking about that style will be aring next week... not really intersted but all well..... i guess dream will be airing some time soon..... only alittle longer until kim bum is back
YAY~
oh yea open day for monash is on sunday.... i hope it doesn't turn out like last year

last minute

befor i go off... i was doing some myspace stalking HAHA just kidding looking up some famouse people on wretch couldn't find anyone = =; maybe i just don't know how....

anyway i was one of my friends sites today... man mirua is cute, i'm dying i wanna watch gokusen~

(O3O)

on again

YAY~~~ still hyper from before, well more now, because my long awaited CROWS ZERO2 has been subbed and posted onto mysoju~~~ yes my dear Mirua is in it so is shun~~~ i havta say i can't get enough of mirua~~

onto different news i've decied to watch Koishite akuma, i was frist intersted in this due to the akuma in the title, and for those of us who don't know akuma means demon or devil in jap... i have a thing for demons and devils~~~ not in the creepy i follow satan way but the shoujo OMG he's a demon 'forbidden love' thing~~

i'm been too much of a fan girl now...

anyway i havta do my half an hour of sky riding tonight, for those who dont know its a very asian exercis when u lay on ur back and do a bike action in the air, trust me after 10mins of it i'm already half way dead, after last nights first attempt my abs (not that i have any) hurt and my back hurt.... it's all michelles fault eating salads and exercising like crazy.... now i feel bad... so i decied to join her on her way to become a 45kg werido.... she's only wat 50kg? and she's like 162... man am i depressed.

latly i've had a thing for bad boyz..... yes i thought K was cute and A as well.... they are cute, anyway i had the crazyiest day on thursday, (i forgot about it) i met my thai baby every i went at skool.. it was good

ok my downloading has reach 99% so me gonna go and read my long awaited manga~~ yes i am back on that stuff can't get enough of it.

我今天high了~~~~~~~~ really hyper today

其实啦我是一个人在自拍~~~呵呵~~~太high了

（^O^)(^O^)(^O^)(^O^)(^O^)

看得出我的high度吗？？？

哈哈哈哈~~~~哈哈哈哈~~~~~

不是啦，有一点无聊，虽然有作业可以做，可是不想做，就自拍了~~~

拍好发现有一张很像包子，所以，其实，我是个包子。。。。

%~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~%

translated verson

it's ok, acurally i was taking photos of myslef......he he ....... really hyper

(^O^)(^O^)(^O^)(^O^)(^O^)

can u unerstand my hyerness now?

he he he he~~~~~~~~~~~he he he he ~~~~~~~~~~~

i acurally have homeowrk to do, but i'm too lazy to do it so, i took photos

after i finished my photo taking,,, i realised i had one that made me look like a bun, so acurrally everyone i'm a meat bun........

%~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~%

after alot of paint work i came up with this.....

i should be doing my chinese homework...... well i'll do that later

i was watching true beauty last night, man those people are sooo dumb "wanna smoothie?" i swear all that guy cares about are smoothies and shakes..... i'm sorry to tell u NO ONE likes them!!!!

he he

i came back home during period 4 today.... i'm sorry su... i left u all alone.... but everyone else went so i decied to be a sheep and follow.... he he i almost missed the bus... that would have been bad.... it was pretty windy today.......

well i was thinking about going to the carrees expo thingy in the city on sunday, but parents are been tight... so don't know if i'm going if i am i wanna buy hua twu, and hair bands as well.. and maybe an unbrella to replace the one that JAKE broke.....

anyway going back to my dramas... he he can't wait fro KO tonight~~~

bye bye

Gokusen

i don't care what u say i wish someone would hurry up and upload Gokusen the movie already it's aldready been 10 days people COMMON i wanna watch it bad, cos teppei and shun and mirua are all in it not to mention KAME! all of the hot people are there LET ME WATCH THE GOD DAMN MOVIE!

on that note if it shown here in australia i would go and watch it not to mention y hasn't ANYONE subbed CROWS ZERO II i want to watch that too....

i was in shock today when i read online that MIRUA's letters phototbook was shot here in AUSTRALIA!!!! YES HERE IN OUR OWN BACK YARD! Y DIDN"T ANYONE TELL ME I WOULD HAVE FLOWN TO THAT PLACE TO SEE HIM! OMG

(T^T)

well i can't anymore can i he's gone back, WHY DO U DO THIS TO ME!

anyway i was good today i feel as though eng has become somthing intersting, apart from the gossip that Mrs C gave us about Poh from mastercheif, the day was pretty boring, i still can't understand how CRYSTAL can leave her keys in her lunch box... = = yes she lost them in her lunch box.....

thats all today he he talk 2 u 2moro

he he

well i guess i'm in a good mood today, acurally a home work mood. he he

well last night i made a new pencil case, i think it's cute~~~~

after talking to jake, and then nathan, i havta say, guys are complicated... they have too much time, i mean girls don't go anround annoying someone else just because.... well i would... but not to that extant.....

(OwO)(OwO)

well the international students had a excursion today, while michelle and min went off to the empty MCG we still had fun, i learnt a new game today~~ acurally it's chopsticks but asian style! i've been listening to Jerry Yan's new album Freedom latly, i don't know it's right for me now, i mean i kinda feel stuck, unsure of what it is i want, i guess most of us feel like that at the moment, but i still feel as though i'm more lost then everyone else, like i'm waiting fro somthing to just pop up, but nothing has right now.

(* *)

i remeber someone telling me that chances are only for those who are ready, and yet i don't know what to be ready for. will someone/somthing just pop up when i don't want it to? or will it give a 4 week notice that it's coming. waiting seems like a long long game, but i guess if it is coming then it would be wroth it~~~

so if ur out there come soon, ok? because i don't think i can wait anylonger...

but if u have somthing on, i guess i can wait for a while, just a little while though~

it just seems like the end of the year is coming too fast, in one more year we wouldn't be high school students anymore, some of us worn't even be students, and havta pay full fare on the train, or find someway to get a car before all the oil runs out

~(# #)~

which reminds me that i should talk to someone, or at least say that i like them before it's too late, i guess i'm just affarid that i'll miss the chance. i mean would it be werid if someone just confessed to you? well i hope not, but i guess i probly worn't, cos he's got exams coming up, and well it's probly not the right time.

wow i've written alot today, well i guess i should keep going on with my genreal conversation for chinese and write a eassy for english... i guess at least some of it.

well bye bye everyone

sac mark back

depressed

(~o~)

very depressed

(~o~)

well i made a new pencile case today out of that table plastic thing u put over teh plastic it's pretty cute if u ask me

(^O^)

well apart from the nathan vs jake thingy going on, everything is fine, i mean seriouly people get over it just don't talk 2 each other and u'll be fine i mean it works fine for me....

anyway it's also good to read finally that jake has decied to move on.... i hope u find the right person jake.

and nathan ur been childish, and u should say sorry for what u said, jake u as well u should say sorry for saying that nathan is a pedo

ok it's done now and both of u can't go crazy over it now

feeling sad

刚刚看完仙剑奇侠传三，胡歌太帅了~~~还是上海人~~~~刚好~~~~

（^w^)

看了景天对雪见的爱，真美~~害得我觉得孤独。。。

这个故事没什么特别的可是里面都是帅哥美女。。。当神仙真好~~~~~

可是一直要过千年万年的。。。太长了。。实在太长了。。。。

看好让我觉得真爱真难找，找到了还不一定能把他留下来。这世界真大，大了无法再大了，可我们就只是这世界的小不点。又让我想到我的未来，我会找到他吗？？

想一想身边没有很喜欢的人，我真可怜。。。。。

好了不写了，我要睡觉了。。。

拜拜~~~~

Rose

SOUL COMPANY DO NOT USE

i'm telling if ur with a phone company don't EVER EVER EVER swap to SOUL it is the stupidiest and more dumbest company there is.

not to mention the people who work in that company can't count money yes 1+1=2, they keep telling me that i have to pay for things that i havn't used!!! FUCK i'm pissed off at the stupid company i've been calling them for the last 3 months every week and FUCK they still can't work out that 19.95+11=30.95!!!! man they are so stupid and they tell me even though i pre pay that i am paying a month behind, FUCK DO U PEOPLE KNOW WHAT PRE PAID FUCKING MEANS!

(@.........@)

SOUL IS STUPID AND THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE ARE STUPID BEYOUND FUCKING HOPE! (just the phone people)

SAC SAC SAC

omg i just remebered today that we have a SAC on FRIDAY

o(OwO)o

i can't believe that i forgot >...<

%~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~%

nothing much happened today apart from the cold weather and me relising such and important event.

we watched lantana today in english (it's out text for this term) man theres alot of sex in that movie... alot, alot, alot of sex

\(O..........O)/

for some reason everyone in that movie is ether craving for sex or is having and affair or is killing for sex....

%~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~%

i think chemistry is the only subject i have intrest in at the moment.... sad i know but it's true i can't seem to find intrest in any other subject.

after talking to jake last night i relised that he really really really loves connie..... and that made me think..... relationships are complicated.... very complicated.... too complicated for little old me....

new look

it took me 1 hour yes one WHOLE hour to work out how to change the template...

(^^)

i finally worked it out~~~

and now i have a new look blog

<(^O^)><(^O^)><(^O^)>

well nothing happened at school beside the whole voiln and michelle lets wait for an hour thing and the fact the we can't hear the bell at all at lunch we've been second guessing everybell.... yes life on the edge isn't so good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now a different note chinese school is starting on saturday, i'll get to see jess and jess and bear and two one and lokyi again YAY~~

well i have to get back to my dy/dx's so i'll write more later

byebye

Rose~~

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

before i get to what happened today at school, i'll talk about yesterday at work...
as many of us know someone came to my work place yesterday (no it was not TVXQ, though that would have been nice) in fact it was someone from school, a person starting with A,..... i swear to god out of everyone, he came.... i wasn't over teh moon, yet it was really akward, part from the fact that i almost spilt miso all over the ground it made work soo hard so i hid in the kitchen eating tempura....

ok 1st day of school... i was running off to catch someone (to tell her some news) for those of you who know in the T8 direction out of the c10 and i had just yelled out that persons name and then i ran into yes i ran into Jhon.... it was akward and he looked at me and i ran off, yes i am hopeless.... but i got to see my jap baby and my ko baby today, didn't see my thai baby or anyone else, but i got to see my rabbit.

i was straving today, this is a lesson to be learnt never leave home without food or money cos it will leave u hungry. oh i brought a perfum today, burberry one, not the one that rabbit was talking about but a different one it had a more green tea smell to it. it cost 99.95 for 50ml..... 99.95..... my pocket is now empty and i no longer have any spending money (i do but just not in my buget) it was good today, i guess, for the first lesson in physics we had a prac, in fact it was ok because i accurally get motion!!!

apart form the rush of homework the morning was good i got my physics homework done in time and my methods too. i was thinking about buying something soon for michelles brihday before it;s too late and i worn't have time to go out, after all she is truning the big 18. i think i might get her something nice, but havn't decied what.

we got new ppl in our chem class to day, apart from the people i can't stand aka round face and bimbo now theres another one, yes the biggest idiot in our year level. i swear and here i was thinking YES no more round face next semster and she comes back with an extra one. we had new people in our physics class too, these people i was more happy with Jim and Ji won both from my eng classes, any back to the original story i was gonna tell, while mrs c was going on about something in chem i was day dreaming that a nija had just droped off the roof and made it behind round face, it was a funnny seen, though i was the only who was imaging it, he was dyeing her hair blue! ha ha .... that would be funny.

well that all for today, i need to finish my prac for physics so i can scam aimee for help 2morow or mr killeen, which one comes first, they're both good, though i must say i fail to understand what linear approximation is and how to change the dy/dx thingy.... i should start paying attention in class from now...

well bye bye for now....
~~Rose

SKITTLES

well apart from the large pile of hw on my desk my room is pretty clean for me... anyway today was the last day of maths.. the girl that had maths with me was soo annoying = = brain it's all ur fault~
i was readin jess's blog a mom ago and i relised that she found her tablet pen, HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT HER DS FOR THE NEXT 2 TERMS!!! HOW
i'm tryna write an eassy on art and pornography... no i do not watch it, our teacher set the topic. there isn't much to write on it apart form the ov reasons.....
oh on the train today i saw this really cute guy... he was cute like OMG cute, LOL just kidding. i was looking up pics for fun (yes eye candy is good for the brain) and i've relised i prefer mainlanders to taiwan! the train was busy today, apart from the odd old lady most were just girl with no lifes or girls with too much energy, maybe i'm just getting old. i was tryning to buy a bag of skittles from thoses vending machines at Richmond station on plt 2 and the stupid machine wouldn't take the money, there i was frezzing and starving to death, and the stupid machine didn't want to take my MONEY!? WHY!? all i wanted was a bag of skittles, i feed it into the machine at least 10 times before i gave up, all the people on the plt were looking at me, probly thinking 'those that werido asian kid'
all my friends are good at the mom apart from a hand full who are ether broken hearted or sick, in fact only three are borken hearted the other one is just plain sick. the thought of having skool on monday is ok, i mean one, i dont' havta go to period one, two, i get to see all my babies and my rabbit again after a long long break, three, i think we're getting new students, it's always fun to have new students, esp international ones~~~ they always bring along a new group of people.
btw nathan is soo slow on his psp... it's funny~~~~
ok i'm off to finish my eassy my net speed will be back to normal 2morow
YAY~~~~

sorry for the change of account... again

i don't know//....

people have been telling me to get facebook/myspace..... y can't they just go on my wretch account???~~~
anyway i'm here now....

happier news now~~~~

i'm finally able to go places~~~ no more swine flu~~~ not that i had it.... just that now theres a vaccine and a cure... mum is no longer 'YOU CAN'T GO ANYWHERE'
i have to say... after my trip to tasmina i am glad that melbourne isnt so small... infact i think bendigo is even bigger then Hobart.....
the sprit was nice though it allowed me a nice sleep.
not looking froward to school......
on another note, did you guys buy a lotto for the 90milion??? i did~ i was praying like hell... but i didn't win anything. i mean if i had won 90 milion i wouldn't need to go to school again ever~~~ i can just go off and buy a bunch of houses and live of the rent~~~~ yay~~~~ thinking about it makes me depressed......

the other day(right after i got back from tassie) my biffle almost got bashed up..(lol..sorry) but he had to mention 'that' person within his story.... got me alittle depressed.... it made me realise that even without someone life will go on, no matter how important that person is to you, that person's life will be no different without you. maybe if i hadn't jumped the boat we would be friends? anyway, the best i can do is to wish you a happy life... and thank you for been the first person that i've cared for.

i'm over it now... i think... but i guess i worn't have time to think about it soon, with both the chinese and methods exams coming up i'm gonna havta give up my computer for a while....no.....

ok bye for now~~~